tubGoat

Now that that is over with, it is time for my monthly bitchfest about how much Mac sucks and how much Mac users frustrate me with their inability to exercise even a single iota of critical thinking when it comes to their choice of hardware and OS.

I am forced to use a Mac at work. It's a dual G5 with 21" cinema screens, 4GB RAM, and all the bells and whistles. I even just got CS3 Designer pro on it. CS3 rules. Can't wait for CS4.

But it's like someone put a Porsche body on top of a dying Yugo. Damn thing crashes and freezes constantly. Time Machine just stopped working. Flash player only works if I scroll partway through the movie. I have to save my work in Illustrator and Photoshop every minute because the programs are so unpredictable.

And still all I get from my Mac friends is incredulous remarks like, "Really? It crashes?"

Of course it does. You know it does. Yours does, too. They all do. Just admit you have a problem--it's the first step in recovery.

The second G5 we got has all kinds of messed up behavior and have been like that since they were first taken out of the box. Some common keyboard shortcuts just don't work. One of the MacBook Pros arrived with a defective motherboard. And yet the faithful act as though there is nothing wrong.

I'm still doing those things on my Mac that Mac zealots claim the machines are better for: Multimedia of all kinds. And yet, my anemic Dell laptop that I got for doing schoolwork--with a fresh install of Vista--outperforms my supposed Apple multimedia monster in almost every aspect.

This is not an endorsement of Dell or Windows. I could care less which OS or hardware I use, so long as it does its job. And as an artist, developer, and human being, I feel it is my moral duty to warn others out there that all the stuff they say on those Mac commercials and in the ads, and all that stuff that has been implanted in the brains of Mac users--it's lies--all lies!!!

Buy a computer based on editorial reviews, its ability to run the programs you want/need (and the next person who says, "But you can run Windows on the Mac!" has to write an essay on how every program for Mac OS is a ripoff of an existing program, creating a mass hypocrisy that only adds to Gates' hit points in combat), not the word of people who make Scientologists seem normal.

A new Apple store opened up in Boston. The biggest one in the world. I'm gonna visit it to see if there's some emo jerk jumping up and down on a couch screaming, "I love this computer!"